This year, Memorial Day took on a whole new meaning. I will admit that before Colin joined the National Guard I was guilty of enjoying a day off work. Beyond that, I didn't give it much thought. Now that it affects me, I gave it a lot of thought. I thought of all the Gold Star families, and how hard Memorial Day is for them. I thought of all the people in the Armed Services, and what they do. I realize that in this day and age, a draft is unlikely, so they are all there because they choose to be, but they are willing to give far more than I am for this country.
Other aspects I never thought of. Colin's only form of communication is snail mail. Hello, 1989 is calling and wants its communication back. I now have a renewed appreciation for the mail service. Also, in the old time movies when people would ask, "Have you heard from the front?" I didn't think about that beyond the plot of the movie. Now I realize it is a true lifeline for us. I wonder how Colin will be with technology once he gets home.
I traveled to Nashville this past week for work. Even though I didn't see much outside of the Omni Hotel, it is a lovely city. I felt very safe walking around, and I even visited the Country Music Hall of Fame. There was music EVERYWHERE, and the food was amazing. How does Ohio not have Chicken Fried Chicken in more places? As in any big city, homelessness was a problem. After a friend and I finished eating, we had a half a pizza left over. We decided to give it to the first homeless person we saw. There was a man digging through the trash and we asked him if he wanted it. He said, "I guess I will take it. It will hurt my stomach, but I will take it." This made me think a little more about the situation. My initial reaction was that this was a true beggar that is choosing. My second thought was that it probably would hurt his stomach, but it was clean. My third thought was if I was being condescending when I was trying to help. I thought of my white privilege. My last thought was that he was not obligated to like what I gave him, and I should remember that everyone has feelings. I thought I was better than this. Maybe that is my problem, and this knocked me down off my high horse.
I am now addicted to my Fitbit. How can I be addicted to something that I hate? Yesterday I was taking Max for a walk and remembered that it was charging. I was so mad that I had wasted steps, and a flight of stairs. My original reason for getting it was so I could see what time it is at night. The clock is too small to see from my side of the bed. Now it mocks me daily. It reminds me hourly that I am a sloth by vibrating and telling me how many steps I need to hit my goal. I do not like or appreciate the dissonant feeling it gives me, and I refuse to be ruled by it. Guilted? Yes. Ruled? NO.
All of these things are giving me big, uncomfortable feelings. I suppose they are making me grow as a person, but I was happy where I was. Growth is hard, but it is good, and needed. I will just have to hang on tightly for the ride.
1 comment:
Kate,
When Jeff entered the National Guard and went to boot camp they did the same thing - snail mail. When he was called to active duty and sent to Iraq during Desert Storm - still the same - snail mail. Cell phones were in their infancy, email was even in its infancy. However, when I wrote to him - he never received my letters. When he wrote to me - I only received 5-6. This was because his unit moved around so much the mail could not keep up with them PLUS it was for the safety of the troops - as I was told. They did not want the enemy to know they were in a specific location for any period of time. Today, email and cellphones are the norm. - which is good. Young men and women who join the armed forces these days are very brave indeed. Colin is a shining example! I know you are very proud of him. I love your blog!
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