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Wednesday, December 11, 2019

What to Expect When Your Child Goes to Basic Training

This subject was too hard for me to talk about for quite a while, and now I think I am far enough away from it that I can talk about it.  For me, the hardest part was the fear of the unknown.  I have never sent someone to basic training before, so how was I to know? 

Here are some hard and fast truths about basic training
  1. No news is good news.  Your soldier will not have phone privileges unless and until there is something very wrong.  If they call you in the "Red Phase", there is a big problem.  
  2.  The Army knows what they are doing here.  This is not their first rodeo.  It may seem cruel and heartless, and it really is.  Welcome to the Army.  If your child is old enough to have made the decision to join the service, they really don't need you while they are there.  This is as much training for you as it is for them.  When your soldier is stationed in a combat zone, (God help me!) they are not going to be able to contact you for a very long period of time.  You, as a loved one, have to be okay with that.  Think of it as the band aid of parenting being ripped off, really hard and really fast.  
  3. Write to your soldier as much as possible.  Share the address with anyone who might write. Support from home is so very important.  Go ahead and use Sandboxx as that will almost ensure you will have the correct address in the correct format, and it is much faster delivery.  You can also easily send a picture with each letter.  You wouldn't think twice about spending $3 or $4 on a card, so feel free to spend the money on this.  Your mileage may vary.  
  4. DO NOT SEND ANYTHING TO YOUR SOLDIER UNLESS THEY ASK FOR IT.  They have very specific things they can and can't receive, and it varies by company.  DO NOT SEND FOOD.  They WILL be smoked, and most likely, the whole platoon will get smoked as well.  (smoked is punished.)  Don't put your soldier in a very awkward position.  
  5. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT CALL THE BASE!!!!!!!  I really can't stress that enough.  The ONLY reason you should call the Red Cross is if there is a death in the IMMEDIATE family.  Notice that I said the Red Cross, and not the base.  Never call the base.   For those in the back that might not have heard the first time, Don't Ever Call The Base.  You will receive a letter from the Commander that contains dates of graduation, etc.  The only reason you will get a call from your soldier is if they are not graduating.  
  6. Make reservations for graduation as soon as you know when graduation will be.  Hotels on base WILL BOOK QUICKLY!!!  You will want to be on base as your soldier will most likely not be able to leave the base, and you will have to find something for your group to keep yourselves occupied, which is surprisingly hard to do.    This will also allow them to grab a nap.  They will be tired.  
  7. Social media is your friend.  Most companies will have a face book page where you can find out what is going on with your soldier and ask questions.  I was able to meet my own battle buddy moms who made the whole experience bearable.  We all shared information from letters and calls (they will most likely get phone privileges after "The Forge"), and together we were able to figure out what was going on.  Sometimes they posted pictures, and that was as if all of your best gifts in life had been placed together in one package and handed to you.  Not going to lie, the first time I saw one of Colin, I cried like a baby.  
  8. Please look at the frequently asked questions section of the page before you ask your own question.  Most of the main questions have been asked and answered.  Some several hundred times.  The moderators of this site will soon become your biggest ally.   They will likely know the answer to most questions, and if not, they can usually find the answer for you.  Again, DO NOT CALL THE BASE.  If these people think it is truly something you need to know, they will call for you.  They were patient and kind and truly angels on earth.  
  9. Sign up for informed delivery from the post office. It is easy and free.  You get an email every day showing you a scan of what will be delivered.  Again, whenever I saw one with Colin's chicken scratch, I would cry and stalk the mailbox.  
  10. Lean on any support you can find.  My Battle Buddy Moms, my family, and a group called Colin's Fan Club really helped.  
This will get you started, and just like nothing can prepare you for parenthood, nothing will prepare you for sending your loved one to Basic Training.  It is an experience unlike anything I have even imagined.  Buckle up Buttercup. You are in the Army now!