What Not to Wear - The Kennywood Adventure

I know that I am no Stacy London or Clinton Kelly, but I do know enough to wear clothes that fit, and for God's sake, cover up things that nobody else should have to see.  Last weekend we went to Pittsburgh to an amusement park called Kennywood.  What is it about these places and county fairs that bring out the craziness of people's wardrobes.  Because I can't make this stuff up, and because nobody would believe me if I told them, I took some pictures. Out of the many that I took, I narrowed it down to the best (or should I say worst) three.  I ask you, do these people not have mirrors?  Do they not have loved ones that have the guts to tell them they look ridiculous?   I will apologize in advance because once you see these, the image can not be erased from your minds.  Fair warning, if you are faint of heart, turn back now.  I am saving the best for last.  I promise it will be worth it, and might just give you nightmares for days. 

The problem here is not that this man's shirt is pink, it is that it is mesh.  Yes, I said MESH!  I ask you, where does one buy something like this?  I have never, in all my 41 years, seen a mesh shirt, much less one that had buttons on it.  Here is another problem with mesh shirts in the heat.  If you have deodorant fade out, there is nothing to stop it from being shared with your fellow people in line.  It is even better when you have a 7 year-old with no filter who said "WHAT IS THAT SMELL, IT SMELLS SO BAD, LIKE BAD BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OR REALLY STINKY FEET!!!!!!!!!!"  On one hand, it really needed to be said, and I wished I could have said it.    On the other hand, I tried to pretend that he was not my child while simultaneously clamping my hand over his mouth.   My sister Laura and I have decided that they should have deodorant stations and they should be mandatory every hour, or every time you come off a water ride.  It would make this whole experience bearable.  I should be thankful that the next man was not wearing this mesh shirt...

I like to call this a Sasquatch sighting.  This man is extremely hairy.  I am not sure why I felt it necessary to point this out.  Many men suffer from this condition, and since I have not gotten my eyebrows waxed in over a year because it hurts, I do not expect this man to wax his back for my amusement park enjoyment.  I would, however, like to recommend that he wear a collared shirt.  I was longing for the mid 80's when the mock turtleneck was in style. 

Here is the grand finale of this slide show of horror:

First, let me point out that this is her back.  If you suffer from back cleavage, which I have never actually seen before, COVER IT UP.  DO NOT WEAR A SHIRT THAT SHOWCASES THIS FREAK OF NATURE!!!!!!  I would also like to tell you that her earrings say "SEXY".  I assure you that there was nothing sexy about this. This woman had teenage kids.  What person of at least late twenties or early thirties wears plastic earrings that say anything, much less sexy? It was even more horrific in person. Trust me when I tell you that you do not want to see these jeans from the front. 

I am not much for roller coasters anymore.  The lines were long and it was hot and crowded.  I am not in any hurry to go again, but the cotton candy was fresh and the people watching was fantastic.  It was a great day spent with my family, and that is really all I can ask for. 

Is it Still a Tree House if There is No Tree?

One of the first activities the kids did this summer was to add on to the tree house at my parents house.  About five or six years ago my dad built a tree house for the kids in an old apple tree.  The rule was that you had to be at least five years old to climb into the tree.  It was a platform with some railing, and you had to climb the tree to get in and out.  It is about six feet in the air and was about 5'x10', big enough for the five oldest kids to get in and move around a little bit.  Over the years it gained a tarp roof, and then the tree died and my dad cut it down leaving just enough of the trunk for the kids to still climb in. 

Lauren and William have grown out of it, but Claire, Matthew, Cara and Ryan grew into it, and the kids deemed it too small.  Over the winter, whenever we gathered at my parents house, the kids would go into the basement and plan for the addition.  There were elections to see who would be in charge of the project, and Colin was selected to give "the pitch".  They drew up some plans, and when the time was right, they sent Colin in.

They had two things going for them.  Laura's family was going to be staying at my parents for a few weeks while they were moving, and Colin is irresistible.  It helped that he had the backing of all of the other kids, but mostly, when Colin turns on the charm, you really have very little defense. 

One day when Mom, Laura and I had gone somewhere, Dad took Andrew, Colin, Cara and Ryan to the Home Depot to gather the materials.  The people at Home Depot about had a heart attack when the kids were pulling the wood off the piles.  Colin dropped one of the planks on his toe and it is still damaged two months later.  Dad told them they needed some 2x4's for the deck part and Ryan found some, but they were untreated.  Dad, in his infinite wisdom told him that those wouldn't work because they needed the yellow ones, you know, the ones with poison.  Ryan had a conniption.  POISON, I CAN'T TOUCH THAT, IT HAS POISON!!!!!  NOBODY TOUCH THAT, IT IS POISON.  This went on all day long.  Ryan must have washed his hands about 30 times that day.  Finally, Andrew threatened him with bodily harm if he talked about it once more, and I am pretty sure that he had Dad's approval. 

Once they got through the Home Depot they had to get the stuff home.  While everyone fit into the van comfortably on the way to the store, they didn't anticipate how much space it would take to get it all home.  Colin and Andrew had to double buckle in the front seat.  Just as Colin had finished saying, "I hope we don't see any police", one drove by.  Both of them ducked. 

For the rest of the week, they worked on the tree house.  Ryan continued to worry about the poison wood, although he didn't say anything about it around Andrew.  I think we have since convinced him that it is only poisonous to bugs. 

This is the old side of the treehouse:

This begs the question though, how many of my family members does it take to build a tree house that does not have a tree? 

This is the new tree house.  You can see the old tree stump, and the new addition of the ladder to enter and exit. 

Hours of fun have been had by all, but much to my relief, the sleepover they were planning never took place.  They are still planning on putting on a roof, but time ran out before Laura had to move on to her new house in Philadelphia.  There is always next summer. 

Bent, But Still Unbroken

Here I am again.  I would say sorry that it has been so long since I posted, but that would be a lie.  I needed some time to catch my breath since I am now, once again, a stay-at-home mom.  So far this summer we have completed swim season (our third year of being undefeated!), done two sessions of coach pitch baseball (certainly this must be one of the circles of hell) , and survived the eight hottest days of the summer without air conditioning (forget the circle, that was hell).  I have also gone to Philadelphia in the back seat of our Camry with my two blessings from God, aka my kids.  A trip to the chiropractor was needed to make my hip useable again, but it was so worth it to spend two days with Laura and to see her new home. 

I has not been our best summer ever since our style of living to which we have become accustomed has been drastically reduced.  It has been a good summer in that the kids and I have had a summer of endless days stretching out before us with nothing in particular planned, nobody that we need to see, and nothing that absolutely has to be done (short of me finding a new job, of course). 

One of the things that I have done this summer is read.  I have been reading a lot, like about 20 books.  The books have ranged from the compulsory "Fifty Shades of Grey" series (don't waste your time) to the most recent book called "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand.   This was just the book I needed right now.  It follows the journey of a man named Louie Zamperini who would have been the first man to run a four-minute mile if it had not been for World War II. He ends up in the Army Air Force where he fights in huge battles in unstable planes, gets lost at sea for over 40 days, then captured to spend almost three years as a POW under horrific conditions. Finally, it covers  how he copes with the aftermath when he eventually gets home. Don't worry, there are no spoilers in that description. 

What this story is really about is how your attitude will make all the difference when life throws you a curve ball.  It is about patriotism, which is especially poignant since we are watching the Olympics.   It is about humanity, and how circumstances can cause people to do ghastly things, and how some people can rise above these same circumstances to maintain their dignity.  In short, this book put my issues back in perspective and reminded me that even though this setback is painful, my family is safe and healthy, and we will stay that way together through the good times and the bad.  This is time that I need to enjoy for what it is, not what it could have been.  That this too, shall pass, and what is on the horizon might be something great.  I just need to take one day at a time and keep my head up.  God will take me where he wants me to go. 

A Whole New World

I'm baaaaaack.  I know it has been a while since I posted, but we have had a wild start to the summer.  Laura spent three weeks with us, I took a trip to New York, the kids are on the swim team, and Colin has started to play the guitar.  This just hits the tip of the ice berg. 

Lets start with Laura.  As you may remember, Laura is my sister that was living in Cincinnati.  They have since moved to Philadelphia, but while they were waiting for their new house to be ready, they stayed with my mom for a few weeks.  It was crazy busy and so much fun.  Our kids had a blast hanging out and doing just about any activity possible in Northeastern Ohio.  There were sleepovers galore, but none that my kids participated in.  It may seem crazy, but none of the kids wanted to get up and moving for swim practice that started at 7:00 AM.  Yes, in the morning.  Can't say as I blame them.  A treehouse addition was built, but that will be a post all of its own. 

I went to New York with Ann, Mary Beth and Lauren, and it was great.  Not quite the trip I had planned in my mind, but we got to see Wicked and Memphis which were both amazing.  We also took a bus tour and saw Tom Cruise and Luke Wilson shooting a movie.  The Ground Zero memorial was very moving and well done.  We proved that we were midwesterners by being confused by the elevator situation, and did you know Laguardia Airport is infested with mice?  This will also require a post of its own. 

The kids have been keeping me busy with their activities.  Colin and Ryan are both on the swim team.  As I have mentioned, Colin's practice starts at 7:00 in the morning.  He resists every morning and one morning he said that he thought this was crazy and even Michael Phelps didn't get up that early.  His practice ends at 8:45 and Ryan's starts at 9:00.  I feel like I spend half my life at the pool, but they are learning a life skill that may save their lives. 

I almost never talk about work.  Three years ago I started a job that was supposed to be temporary, and it has finally come to an end.  I will miss some dear friends I have made, and I will miss my paycheck, but not really miss the job itself.  I have been working from home and it is really lonely.  I feel like I am poised at the edge of something great and I am looking forward to what my future has in store.  The timing was good because now I can give my kids a summer of my undivided attention.  We have been having a summer I like did when I was young.  We have a schedule of sorts, but we are not in a hurry to do anything, and it is very relaxing for all of us. 

Now that things have slowed down a bit, I will try to get back to my regularly scheduled posting.

Relay 2012

It has been a hectic few weeks lately with the end of school.  I am now the proud mother of a first and seventh grader.  On top of all of the end of school activities, we had our local Relay For Life over the weekend. 

I have been involved in this cause for the past two years on the committee, and this year I scaled it back and was a co-captain with Ryan's teacher.  She is hitting her 10 year anniversary of being a breast cancer survivor.  As a cautionary tale, she was 34 when she noticed something on a self exam.  She had no history of breast cancer in her family and had been to the doctor two months earlier.  This is a true case of if it could happen to her, it can happen to anyone.  We need to be our own first line of defense against this disease. 

This year our team was mostly made up of people from our elementary school.  These kids managed to raise $3600 by bringing in spare change and having bake sales.  I was teasing Jeanette saying that we should have named our team "Nickel and Diming our Way to a Cure."  We did not have any corporate sponsors this year, so these families did it all.  I am so proud of what we did, and I was so encouraged to hear how many of these kids gave their own money to the cause.  Now is the time to be instilling the idea of service to our kids.  It has been one of my parenting goals to lead by example. 

Weather in Northeastern Ohio in June is unpredictable.  In March we had weeks of 80 degree temps, but on Saturday it was windy, oh so windy, with a high of 60.  To say it was cold would be a monumental understatement.  As a fundraiser we were selling hot dogs, chips and soda.  The problem was in cooking the hot dogs.  We had to construct a tent of sorts to keep the heat from blowing away.  It became unbearable when it started to rain.  Just when I was ready to give up, this happened:



This was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen.  In fact, this picture does not do it justice at all.  It was as if all the people we were honoring and fighting for were giving us a collective pat on the back.  There weren't many dry eyes at the event. 

Colin was having a great time.  It was his job to make sure everyone walking around the track knew that we were selling food.  He told every person, every time, they went around the track.  He also got to participate in the Luminaria ceremony and once again moved me to tears.  I just love him so much, and he is literally growing before my eyes.  He was overjoyed when he won a basket raffle full on Cleveland Indians stuff.  I think he had about 85% of the tickets in the drawing, and he told me he would have been devastated if he would have lost.  I think the people at that tent took pity on him and he would have been the winner even if his name was not chosen, but I do believe he won fair and square. 

All in all, it was a successful weekend.  Our Relay, which is only in its 4th year, raised over $75,000 to fund cancer research.  While I think this is my last Relay for a while, I can not say enough good things about my experience with the American Cancer Society.  They have 700 volunteers to every one staff member, and around 95 cents of every dollar raised is used to fund research and programs for all types of cancer.  It has been my privilege and pleasure to participate the last three years, and I think my Uncle Joe who is my reason to Relay, would be very proud of me. 

So. Tired. Of. Coughing.

Once again it is 1:30 in the morning and I am up coughing.  I have had what started out as an ear infection and bronchitis and moved to an epic sinus infection for the entire month of May.  If you wonder where I have been, it has been here coughing my head off. 

I am blaming this on Ryan.  He likes to snuggle with me and then cough in my face.  His body is a petri dish of kindergarten germs.  His immune system can handle it after being immersed in it day after day after day.  I, on the other hand, am a fragile flower that works from home and hardly ever engages in activity outside of this cocoon I call home.  Those kids, while being cute and loving and oh so affectionate, are also really gross.  They openly pick their noses and other body parts.  They like to see, touch, smell and taste everything.  They do not believe in personal space, and have never heard of the rule against close talking.  In fact, they can never really get close enough to you. 

Coughing is a wholly unsatisfying task.  I feel like I want to stick a pipe cleaner into my right lung and scratch the living daylights out of it.  It is like the itch on the middle of your back that no matter what body contortion you try, you just can't reach, but you know if someone could scratch it for you, it would be like the best fireworks display ever. (I would have used a different analogy, but my 12 year old reads this blog.)  It is exhausting to me, and irritating to those around me.  I know that if Dave was sick this long I would have lost all sympathy weeks ago.  Oh who am I trying to kid.  I am sympathetic for the first 3 days.  For the second three days I am tolerant.  After that I am a passive aggressive caretaker rolling my eyes at his pain and suffering while huffing and puffing at the extra work it is causing me. 

I am so tired from coughing that tonight I let Dave go and purchase my new stove, wait for it, without me.  I had picked it out a few weeks ago.  No, I was not crazy enough to let him pick it.  I would have either gotten a one burner apartment special, or I would have ended up with the top of the line gourmet one if I had let him pick it.  You can never tell which way he will go with something like this.    I did give him carte blanche to pick a range to go over the stove, but they are being held up due to a new design.  Can't wait to see what that will be, since I thought if you saw one range cover you had seen them all. 

If anyone would like to share a coughing remedy that is not Robitussin or Mucinex, I am all ears.  My old stand-bys have let me down.  I have a lot of fun things coming up and this has gone on long enough.

My Head is Literally Spinning

It is the end of the school year, and things are crazy.  Colin went to camp for three days, and Ryan has the end of the year Kindergarten stuff that is so cute I think I now have a cavity. 

Add to that, I have had this weird cold/ear infection/bronchitis thing that just won't go away.  I am on my third round of antibiotics, the second one made me sicker than I was already so I only took one, so really that one doesn't count.  It, along with the Claritin-D I took to try to get it under control both made me so dizzy I could not function.  Yesterday I drove about 30 minutes away to take Ryan to my nephew's birthday party.  I had to have Ann and Bob come pick us up because I couldn't drive if my life depended on it.  I felt more drunk than I have ever been from drinking. 

Next weekend I will be participating in my final Relay For Life.  I hope I am feeling better since I will have to be there for 24 hours.  (I hate being outside at night.  It is just creepy when I have a perfectly good bed at my house.)  This year I am helping Ryan's teacher with a team from their elementary school.  We are running a campaign called "Coins for the Cure" that is a contest to see which grade level can bring in the most spare change.  The prize is an extra 30 minute recess.  That is it.  No pizza party, no candy, just the opportunity to play outside for an extra 30 minutes.  We have raised about $2000 doing this.  I told Mrs. L that we should have named our team "Nickel and Diming our way to the Cure."  The American Cancer Society is really such a great cause as it does research for all kinds of cancer, and they spend 93 cents of every dollar on research or services.  I really encourage anyone to go to a local Relay and see what it is all about.  I am moving on to helping the local library on the foundation, so this will be my last relay for a few years.  I need a break. 

Next week is the last week of school, so I am hoping that I start feeling better since I will have two kids with me for the next three months,  Should prove to be interesting.