Wednesday, December 7, 2011

A Moment of Self Indulgence

Okay, this is fair warning.  I am about to indulge in a pity party.  If you do not want to read my whining, you are free to stop now.  Please don't say I didn't warn you if you proceed to the end of this post. 

Winter has been holding off for a few extra weeks, and for that I am thankful.  However, the gloom that hangs over Northeastern Ohio has set in, and I am guessing it will hold tight for the next four or five months.  Add to that Colin being sick for the last three weeks, and I have been sent into a downward spiral.  I know he has not been feeling well.  Just looking at him will tell you that he was not faking it.  I feel horrible that he had to suffer through mono, which having had it twice myself, I realize how bad he felt.  I have been staying home with him which has not let me go to the gym except for Zumba on Sunday nights.  On a side note, I defy anyone to take a Zumba class and not be in a good mood when they are done.  It is just not possible.  I hate to say this out loud, but not exercising is making a huge difference in my mood. 

I also went back to the voodoo holistic chiropractor hoping he would be able to tell me what was causing my stomach pain.  I have struggled through not eating dairy, wheat, tomatoes, peppers, etc. for the last three weeks hoping that he would redo the test and I could add either the dairy or the wheat back in.  He told me that I am still sensitive to both and it would take about one month for every year my stomach has been bothering me to heal enough for me to add that back in.  In reality, that would take about 16 months.  On my way home from the appointment I decided to say to hell with the whole thing and I stopped at Danny Boys which is my favorite restaurant and got the most delicious bread sticks ever made.  I ate four of them which is equivalent to about a loaf of bread, then we had pizza for dinner.  Today I had a Coke, and while all of it was delicious, my stomach is now killing me. 

Ryan is not getting the concept of the naughty or nice list.  Right now he is at the top of the naughty list, and then every night he cries because he knows that George, our African American Elf on the Shelf is going to report him to Santa and he is going to get coal for his gift.  (The Elf on the Shelf comes in different skin, eye and hair combinations.  Had I known that ahead of time I would have paid more attention.  Who knew?  Now that we have him I really like him.)   I am now coming down on him like thunder, and for any little infraction he is getting in trouble.  I hate being the "mean mom", not because I am afraid to discipline my child, but because I hate always looking for the bad things he does.  I haven't had to look too hard lately.  I try to notice when he is doing something good and give positive reinforcement, but that is not working right now.  It is time to institute plan "B"

All of this added together is bringing me down into my winter funk.  I feel like I am trying to claw my way out of a dark hole and every time I get a few feet up, I slide back down again.  I am trying to enjoy the holidays and make it something that the kids look forward to, and hope that I can learn to look forward to it again, too.  I am really trying to put up a good fight, but I feel like right now I am losing.  I am allowing myself one day to have a pity party for myself and tomorrow I will come out swinging. 

Tomorrow we will be back to our regularly scheduled program.  Thanks for your patience. 

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