Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Is Vision Really That Important?

I have a confession to make....are you ready?  I hate to go to the eye doctor.   It is the only doctor that has ever caused me to cry.  Dentist?  No problem.  Who thought it would be a good idea to make someone stick their head into a machine and then literally shoot air at your eye with the sound effects to match?  I am scarred for life.  (If you cry and hyperventilate they mark your chart stating that you will freak the hell out and it would be better to use the drops.)  I have wanted to do corrective surgery for years but they keep telling me I am not a candidate since I am so freaked out I can hardly open my eyes when in the presence of an eye professional. 

I have had issues for years with going to the eye doctor.  I would avoid the whole thing except for my 20/650 vision and need to wear contacts.  It seems that they like you to get your prescription renewed every year to purchase new contacts.  I didn't think I would have an anxiety attack taking Colin.  Alas, I was wrong. 

Colin has been having headaches that cause stomach aches and we are trying to figure out what is causing it.  I took him to the eye doctor to make sure his vision was not the issue.  We went to the same eye doctor that I went to when I first got glasses, and when I walked into the room that has the puff machine I had to sit down.  I tried not to react because I didn't want Colin to have this phobia, but holy shit, that thing is evil!  As he stuck his head in the machine that has the hot air balloon in it I started to get a sick feeling in my stomach.  Thank God they didn't do the air test or I would have required prescription intervention.  The sound haunts my dreams.   We went into the actual exam room and I was doing the nervous talking.  You know the one where you are talking and all you want to do is stop, but the harder you try the more you talk until you have talked yourself into a corner and then the doctor was looking at me like I was crazy. By an act of God I managed to shut the heck up and we moved along. 

Dr. Andy did his tests and said that Colin had perfect vision, but that since we were there he might as well dilate his pupils and make 100% sure that it wasn't a focus issue.  We did the drops and had to wait for 30 minutes for them to work their magic.  If Colin can't read he is fidgety and he was walking around the waiting room.  This is a problem when your eyes are dilating and he kept bumping into things.  I made him sit down when he apologized to the chair after he ran into it. 

By the time we got back into the exam room I was in a full blown anxiety attack.  I wanted to crawl out of my skin, or at least wait in the car until it was over.  Since neither one of those were an option I sucked it up and sat with my eyes covered.  Dr. Andy actually asked me if I was okay.  I mentioned that I have anxiety with eye doctors and he looked at me like I was crazy.  He quickly finished the exam and got the heck out of the room. 

The conclusion I have come to is that Dave is now in charge of all eye care appointments.  There are not enough relaxation techniques in the world to make me go through that again.  It is bad enough that I have to go myself, but I am drawing the line in the sand.  As God is my witness, I will never take my children to a vision appointment again!  My blood pressure will thank me. 

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