As I emerge from the cocoon that I wrapped around myself this winter, I am really trying to live in the moment and enjoy what my life has to offer. The biggest part of my life is my family. In the past I have been a true "working mom" who sent my kids to daycare. I traveled all the time and Dave and my mother did most of the heavy lifting when I was out of town. Now I am fortunate enough to have an opportunity to work from home and to be with my kids when they need me.
Over the last 18 months I have gotten to be the one to get them off to school and the one they come home to at the end of the day. It is when they come home that they talk the most. They are still excited about what happened at school, or at least still remember. I get to hear about their friends or the people causing them grief.
I get to be the one to get them dinner. It is not always something I cook, but it is at least something I have control over. Inevitably it is something that they don't like, but at least I know they had the opportunity for nutrition, and it is me that gets to hear the complaints.
Dave is in charge of homework. He deals with it better than I do and has the patience of a saint. We are the ones that are developing their minds and are active participants in making them educated, productive people.
At the end of the night we get to be the ones to tuck them into bed. I get to snuggle with Ryan and hear him tell me how his eyes just won't stay shut so he should be able to stay up with us. Dave gets to be the one to scratch his back because he does it better than I do. I know it won't be that much longer before he goes back to read in his room like Colin does and I am really trying to be present in the moment and enjoy it instead of thinking of the book I want to read or the dishes that still need cleaned.
I love their sense of humor and the ironic things they say. I love that Colin was just telling me that he found a Tom wrench when he really meant an allen wrench. I love that Ryan thinks the Goodyear Blimp follows cars to see if they need new tires, not that its hanger is near our house. I love their innocence and seeing them start to understand the world around us.
The best part of being a mom is having two boys that think that I am doing a good job even when I know I should be doing it better. The love that we share is amazing in its depth and all it encompasses. I love that Dave and I share in it and that he is as invested in it as I am. He is down in the trenches with me doing the day to day stuff that makes parenting so hard, and I am not alone.